Day 2 – Vulgar Burgers, Loud Opinions & Lungs That Are Trying to Kill Me | Chile Travel Diary
Date: March 20
Location: Santiago (Vitacura District)
Mood: Congested, caffeinated, culturally observant, deeply grateful
Opening Spiral (AKA: My Lungs Are Plotting Something)
I woke up this morning sounding like a baritone frog.
My lungs are…not okay. Not in a “I feel sick” kind of way — because weirdly, I feel completely fine — but in a “why does it feel like I’m breathing through a damp sponge?” kind of way. But hey, what’s a trip with a little excitement!
It started on the plane, and I assumed it was just dry cabin air. But today? Full congestion. Deep, chesty, and mildly concerning. And if you’ve ever had pneumonia, you know exactly why this is triggering.
Last August was a full episode – hospital, chest X-rays, and all, and I have zero interest in a sequel (that was the sickest I’ve ever been – including Covid).
So now I’m in this strange in-between where:
I feel fine
I have energy
But my lungs are staging a quiet rebellion
Hoping a couple of days in this air sorts it out, because I would really prefer not to navigate a wine and cycling tour while wheezing like an accordion. If you pray, pray for me, would ya?
First Impressions of Vitacura (AKA: Wait…This Is Nice Nice)
We’re staying in Vitacura (about 20 mins from downtown Santiago), which — after about 24 hours — feels like one of those quietly upscale neighbourhoods that doesn’t need to prove anything. Clean, calm, residential but polished with wide streets, greenery, walkable paths, and a general sense that people here take pride in their environment.
Case in point: they mop the sidewalks. I’ve seen it twice now. Fully mopping public sidewalks.
Meanwhile, back home…we can’t even get people to return shopping carts or not flick their goddamn cigarette butts on the ground. They’re not biodegradable, you a-holes!
Cultural Quirks I’m Already Obsessed With
There’s something I’ve noticed here — and honestly, in a lot of places outside North America — that I wish we would adopt immediately:
People are affectionate.
And not just couples. Friends. Men. Everyone. You see people hugging, touching, sitting close, greeting each other with warmth that doesn’t feel performative or forced and I love it. Because here’s the thing — I know I can come off a bit “get the fuck out of my way” sometimes. I’ve been told. Repeatedly. But I’m actually a physical touch person. I love affection. I love connection. And we just…don’t do that in North America. Or more specifically — we, as white North Americans, don’t do that.
Because I’ve noticed it’s not universal. People from other cultures living in North America? Still affectionate. Still warm.
So it’s us.
And honestly? I think that sucks. Should we all agree to just adopt this kind of warmth and try to infiltrate our own communities this way?
Breakfast, Entitlement & The “Where’s My Bacon?” Crowd
Breakfast at the hotel this morning was incredible. Fresh, Mediterranean-leaning, lots of vegan and gluten-free options — light, clean, and really well done. It’s the little details for me, in a place like this, like pink Himalayan sea salt on the table. None of this iodized table salt bullshit. And yet…someone complained.
“I just wish there were more options.”
Ma’am. You are not in the land of bacon and eggs anymore.
This is one of my biggest travel pet peeves: people who go to another country — another continent — and expect it to cater to their exact preferences. It’s the same energy as people getting annoyed that locals don’t speak English.
You are in a Spanish-speaking country. Why is it their responsibility to speak your language? And if learning a few basics feels like too much work, the absolute least you can do is not complain about it.
It’s not all about you.
Coffee, Sidewalks & Small Wins
We found a little spot right outside the hotel — Café Dios Mio — and it might be my favourite discovery so far. Incredible coffee. Charming space. The kind of place you stumble into and immediately feel like you made a good decision (Brent’s idea, so I can’t take credit for this one).
The server walked us through a full route for exploring the area, and also served a tiny muffin with the coffee that was so good we both immediately wanted ten more, but we resisted.
These are the moments I love. Not planned. Not optimized. Just…found.
Lunch at a Punk Rock Fever Dream (That Absolutely Understood the Assignment)
We went to a place called Honest Mike’s for lunch, and I need to talk about it properly because this place committed to its brand in a way that I deeply respect (and we DO love a strong brand).
Full grunge/punk rock energy from the second you walk in:
Slightly beat-up booths
Loud music
Tattooed servers
Zero pretention
And yet somehow…still spotless, super friendly, and incredibly well run. This is my favourite kind of place — chaotic aesthetic, tight execution.
But the real star of the show? The menu. And you need to see it, to believe it:
Menu Energy: Unhinged (In the Best Way)
They have a whole section called “Mike’s Word” which is basically a list of house rules that reads like a mildly aggressive manifesto.
Things like:
“If you order a ‘non-foam’ beer, we invite you to leave the premises.”
“NO, WE ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE THE MUSIC.”
“There are many dipshits in the world, take care of your belongings.”
And my personal favourite:
“If you tear the placemat, it looks like you need psychiatric help, not a beer.”
I mean…tell me you wouldn’t immediately love this place.
The Burgers Deserve Their Own Personality Disorders
The menu names are completely unhinged in a way that makes ordering feel like an experience.
A few standouts:
“Whopps… I Did It Again”
“Killing Murphy (Deadly!)”
“Making Burgers Great Again” (I mean…bold choice)
“The Chick Norris”
“The Big Mike”
And of course…
“La Concha Tu Burger” (which I ordered, obviously)
Everything comes with fries, everything has attitude, and nothing is trying to be subtle.
What does “La Concha Tu” translate to, you ask? Well, I wondered the exact same thing, and it couldn’t be ANY better if it tried. Here’s the lowdown. Brace yourself, friend, it’s vulgar!
“La concha de tu madre” is a common phrase in Chilean/Argentinian Spanish, and it roughly translates to:
👉 “your mother’s p*ssy”
Yeah. Not subtle.
In everyday use, it’s not meant literally — it’s more like:
“motherf***er”
“what the f***”
or just a general insult/exclamation depending on tone
So “La Concha Tu Burger” is basically a cheeky, edgy, slightly offensive name meant to match the restaurant’s whole irreverent, punk, no-BS vibe
Which honestly tracks perfectly with:
“There are many dipshits in the world…”
“We are NOT changing the music”
“If you order a non-foam beer, leave”
It’s not trying to be classy — it’s trying to make you laugh (and maybe offend you a little). Kind of like me!
And clearly… it worked, because I’ve been dying ever since I Google’d this epic translation. Transparently, I did not know that was the translation when I ordered – just another example of the universe’s hilarious sense of humour.
The Experience (AKA: Google Translate Comedy Hour)
Our server didn’t speak much English, so we used Google Translate back and forth — but instead of it being awkward, she leaned all the way in and started making jokes through the translator.
Which honestly made it even better.
There’s something about people meeting you halfway like that that just makes the whole experience feel fun instead of transactional.
What We Ordered (Because This Matters)
I went with the La Concha Tu Burger (as you know):
Chilean buttery cheese
Hydroponic lettuce
Red onion
Pickled chilli
Rocoto (spicy pepper)
Spicy sauce + pickles
Brent got the McDowell’s:
Cheddar
Red onion
Pickles
Mustard + ketchup
Plus beers for both of us. Simple, messy and perfect.
Walking, Wandering & Why This City Feels Easy
There’s a long walking trail just down from the hotel — lined with art installations, bike paths, and actually designed for humans. We walked the entire thing. It’s clean, well-maintained, and feels intentional — like the city actually considered how people move through it (what a concept…ahem, Halifax).
Which shouldn’t feel revolutionary, but somehow does.
Logistics & Little Surprises
A few things that stood out today:
Pharmacies here are intense.
Security at the entrance, take-a-number system just to browse. Not bad — just unexpected. We have been told that Santiago proper can be a bit…rough…so maybe that’s why the added security (even though we’re 20 mins from the city). I have to say, though, we’ve seen no signs of anything that would give us pause here.Cash is…not really a thing?
Everywhere assumes card. When we paid cash, it felt like we broke the system. Watching them scramble for change was an experience. My guess? Safety + efficiency. I’m assuming more rural locations will lean into cash a bit more, but we shall see.Underground mall situation = wild.
We went to check out the mall and grocery store today — which, if you had asked me a few years ago, I would have told you is the most boring travel activity imaginable. This is entirely my stepdad Steve’s fault. He always insists on going to the local mall when we travel. Always. Without fail.
And for the longest time, we were like…why? Of all the things to do in a new country, this is the hill you want to die on? But somewhere along the way, it became a bit of a ritual.
And now? I get it.
Because it’s actually one of the easiest ways to understand a place. What people eat, what they buy, what’s considered normal, what’s weird, what’s cheap, what’s expensive — it’s all right there. So now, we go. Every trip.
And this one did not disappoint.
Down, Down, Down…
This mall is entirely underground. Not like “a level below street level” underground. Like…descend into the earth underground. You take these long, escalator ramps down — like you’re entering a parking garage — and just keep going.
We went four levels down to get to the grocery store. Four. And there were still more levels below that. It felt like a bunker-meets-retail-situation, and I was weirdly into it.
Grocery Store Highlights (Because This Is Now Who I Am)
Wine…shockingly cheap (like $4 CAD for a box)
Chip flavours we would never see at home (this is a really fun game to play in a new country)
Pickles in bags (?? still processing this)
Hellmann’s mayo…also in bags (into it…how many can I pack?)
I don’t know why this fascinates me as much as it does, but it does. There’s something about seeing the everyday version of a place — not the curated, tourist-facing version — that makes it feel real.
So Steve, if you’re reading this…you were right. Mark that one down 😉
The Slow-Down (Work, Wine & a Slightly Traumatizing Omelette)
We spent a few hours back at the hotel in the afternoon getting some work done — which, again, is the reality of this trip. It’s not just wander-and-eat mode. It’s calls, planning, content, making sure things are moving while we’re here. The unsexy but necessary part of building a business that lets us live like this.
By the time we wrapped, neither of us had the energy (or honestly, the desire) to go out and do anything big, so we kept it simple and stayed in for dinner.
I ordered a Spanish omelette, and while I generally love Spanish omelettes, I need to make a note to myself here:
Order it well done. Always. No exceptions.
Because I asked for “medium” thinking that would be…jammy or just slightly soft. If that was medium, I don’t even want to know what “soft” looks like. This thing was borderline running. Still good. Just…emotionally challenging.
We had some wine, kept it light, and called it early. Nothing fancy. And we love those kinds of days.
Just one of those quiet travel nights that you don’t think about when you imagine a trip — but end up really appreciating when you’re in it.
Relationship Reality Check (The Good Kind)
Tonight, Brent and I had one of those conversations. The kind where you stop and actually acknowledge the life you’re living.
We were talking about how different things could have been if we’d ended up with our previous partners. Not in a negative way — they’re good people — but just…different. There’s no version of this life where I’m here, writing this, travelling like this, building what we’ve built…without him.
And I don’t think there’s a version of his life that looks like this without me either.
I grew up in a very risk-averse environment. Small town, conservative mindset, “get a safe job and stay there” energy. Family, friends, teachers, previous partners – that was the expectation. That never fit me. I’ve always been entrepreneurial. I’d rather take a risk and fail BIG (which I have, many times) than play it safe and wonder “what if.”
And Brent? He supports that. Fully. Wildly. Without hesitation. My big ideas aren’t “too much” to him. They’re just…ideas worth exploring.
People ask me all the time if I ever imagined I’d end up here.
And the answer is always:
Yes.
I just wasn’t always sure I’d figure out how to get here.
Reflection
So I’m going to bed tonight feeling two things at once:
Grateful…and slightly concerned about my lungs. Which feels very on brand for this series. Because travel isn’t just one thing. It’s not just beautiful or just frustrating or just exciting. It’s all of it. At the same time. And today felt like a perfect example of that.
Photo of the Day
📸 Coffee + that dangerously good tiny muffin from Café Dios Mio
✈️ Travel Tip of the Day
Don’t expect your destination to feel like home — that’s the whole point.
Let’s Talk About It
What’s your biggest travel pet peeve — people, behaviour, or logistics?
Have you ever realized your life would look completely different if you’d ended up with someone else?
